Issue 10 - 16th June 2021
This week, I have included a rather lengthy article about social media and children. In my search for helpful articles, it became apparent to me that nearly every search result was about the use of social media by teens. It was very difficult to find anything about the use of social media by primary aged children. The obvious reason for this is that primary aged children should not be accessing social media platforms. And yet, we know that some children in our school are. There are children using platforms including: Facebook; Twitter; WhatsApp; Instagram; Snapchat and TikTok, and in games such as World of Warcraft; League of Legends and Fortnite.
Having been a Deputy Principal in a high school for some time, I have witnessed first hand the trauma, despair and humiliation that comes about due to the inappropriate use of social media. For many students, they did not know that images were being shared, they felt ‘obliged’ to send images they didn’t want to send, they got caught up in online bullying and didn’t know how to get out, etc. Given that phones were banned for use in the classroom and during break times, the majority of the communication was at home. But, the emotions don’t switch off at school, and the impact on learning was significant.
The additional consequence, and perhaps one even more difficult to witness, was the despair of parents when they came to know of the actions of their children on social media.
It is really challenging as parents to navigate the online world with our children. They are under pressure to be online, and we are under pressure to let them. This article by Dr Kristy Goodwin provides a good explanation of the risks and consequences for our children. Dr Goodwin is a digital wellbeing expert, particularly on the impact of digital technologies on children and teens' health, wellbeing & learning.
When is it okay to introduce social media to kids?
Whilst the legal age to access most social media sites is 13, we know that there are children in our primary schools who are active on social media.
“You’re the worst Mum in the world. I’m the only person in my whole class who isn’t allowed to have a Tik Tok account. That’s so unfair! I hate you!”
This is a common conversation that many parents are having with their kids. Actually, let me clarify, it’s not a conversation, it’s often a tirade of abuse from your 10-year-old child, claiming that their social life will be ruined if they’re excluded from social media.
Children at increasingly younger and younger ages are pleading with their parents to allow them to set up a social media account. And often it’s much earlier than the legal age of 13 years!
This isn’t even considering the children who have set up their own social media accounts, without their parents knowing. And we know that there are a lot of these in existence. (In fact, some studies have suggested that as many as three-quarters of children aged 10-12 years have social media accounts, despite being below the legal age limit.)
Parents feel confused and conflicted about what’s the right thing to do. On one hand, they’re concerned about alienating their kids if they don’t allow them to set up social media accounts (especially when all of their peer group claim to have their own accounts. Insider information- sometimes kids try and outsmart you and they collude and try and convince their parents that everyone else has an account when that’s far from the truth!). Many parents accept that digital abstinence is no longer a viable option. On the other hand, they’re equally as afraid of allowing their child to set up an account (because of fears associated with cyber-bullying, exposure to possible pedophiles and pornography, not to mention addiction concerns and personal identity and body image worries).
What are the risks?
Prematurely dunking young kids into the social media world can be catastrophic! Kids, both tweens, and teenagers often lack the social, emotional and psychological skills needed to cope with the demands posed by the incessant buzzing, comments and risks associated with social media.
In fact, we know that the part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex, that allows kids to manage their high-order thinking skills that they need to use when engaged with social media is not fully developed (research suggests it’s the early twenties for females and late twenties for males). Therefore, they don’t have the cognitive capacity to effectively manage the demands of social media. For example, they may not have the impulse-control skills they need to decide not to post a nasty comment on Facebook, or share a rude photo on Instagram.
Kids, especially if they’re still forming their personal identity can be susceptible to the bombardment of sexualised images that proliferate social media sites and apps. Kids start to assume that in order to be liked and accepted amongst their peer group, that they need to share sexualised images. This is why, in some instances, we’re seeing primary school children taking selfies in their underwear and sharing them on Instagram! Kids are also using apps like Musical.ly (now called TikTok) to create, share and discover short 15-second music videos with other users. Young girls, especially under 13 years of age, are flocking to this app and psychologists are concerned that sexually provocative videos are being shared and gain more traction because they garner more likes and comments.
There is a preponderance of cyber-safety issues when kids are using social media apps and websites. Catfishing is a term used to describe when a person poses as someone else in order to manipulate or deceive victims. In recent times, charges were laid against an Australian man who committed 931 child sex-related crimes when he posed online as Justin Bieber. In some instances, children as young as 8 were convinced that they were conversing with Justin Bieber and for their chance to win a 10-minute phone call with the star, they needed to send nude photos via private message on a social media site. In some instances, children agreed to meet with the predator at a physical location. Again, our kids do not have the brain architecture, cognitive skills and life experience that they need to make informed decisions.
Predators are also using social media platforms to groom young children, as they know that many of them are using these tools without adequate supervision and prey on their natural vulnerabilities. Alternatively, some predators ‘catfish’ (assuming a false online identity) young children on these platforms.
Is social media ‘bad’ for kids?
In a nutshell, social media isn’t necessarily ‘bad’ for kids. If it’s introduced at the ‘right’ age, carefully monitored by parents and balanced with real, off-screen relationships, then social media can be a meaningful communication tool for our teenagers. Note, I said teenagers!
Social media can be a wonderful way to cater for our teenagers’ need for social connection. One of our basic human needs is to feel like we belong. We’re hard-wired for relational connection and social media meets this need so well.When used appropriately and intentionally, social media can be a wonderful way for teens to connect. They can develop a sense of belonging. They can build relationships.
I’m not denying that there are also inherent risks of teens using social media. Anxiety and depression concerns associated with vulnerable kids using social media have been examined in some research. Body image issues and cyberbullying are also some of the other adverse consequences associated with social media.
In essence, like any technology, social media is merely a tool. It’s neither good nor bad. It really depends on how it’s used, with whom it’s used, when it’s used, where it’s used and what’s used. My concern with social media is that children are being dunked in the social media world prematurely before they’re socially and emotionally ready.
It’s okay to say no
If your 8 year old son asked you for the keys to the car so he could go and do burnouts, would you hand over the keys? If your 11 year old daughter asked for a shot of tequila for dinner, would you oblige? I didn’t think so. Yet, social media can be a dangerous place for young children. As parents we have to be okay with saying no to social media. I would rather say no and have my child be disappointed and angry at me, than having to deal with the negative consequences of reluctantly giving in. We can provide reasons to our kids for our decision and that may not still appease them. Even if they declare, “I hate you”, we have to be okay with that (heck, I even think it’s a rite of passage as a parent).
So when is the ‘right’ age to introduce social media to kids?
There’s no ‘right’, specific chronological age that’s appropriate to introduce social media to kids. It really depends on each child’s social and emotional maturity levels. It also depends on their capacity to follow rules and to be responsible.
Even the legal age of 13 years (for most social media platforms) can be misleading. This isn’t necessarily the ‘right’ or ‘safe’ age to introduce social media. This is the age stipulated in the Children’s Online Protection Act 1998 (COPA)- a US law that prevents the collection and storage of personal information and data of children under 13 years.
Remember, your job as a parent is to protect and keep your child safe. It’s not to win approval by your child. Sometimes your children won’t like your decisions. Sometimes they’ll even tell you you’re the worst parent in the world and they hate you. And I think we must be okay with that- in fact, I suggest you re-frame it as a criticism and see it as a sign that you’re doing a good job as a parent. Their safety and well-being must be our priority.
https://drkristygoodwin.com
Mrs Kerrie Flynn
Acting PrincipalAs the days become cooler, some students may want to wear an added layer underneath their school shirt. A plain, white t-shirt or singlet is permissible. No logos, prints or writing should be visible.
A reminder that on sports uniform days, plain white or black socks are to be worn.
Recently at St. Peter Chanel, staff had a discussion on how we can help our students increase their acceptance of difference. This discussion came about due to seeing a need for students to recognise that not everyone responds in the same manner to same situations and events. We encourage our students to understand that children with different needs will not learn or behave in the same way as everyone else. By modelling respect for difference, amongst us all, our students at SPC are enabled to help peers who struggle to carry out our school’s behaviour expectations consistently and create a respectful and inclusive environment.
St. Francis of Assisi is the perfect example of someone we can all strive to be more alike. I recently read a reflection by Sister Marcella Nachreiner and felt so moved by what she said, that I wish to share her thoughts on how St. Francis is a wonderful role model for us in light of respecting diversity.
“He loved everyone he met just as they were, and not as he hoped they would be. He loved them as unique individuals, sacred, with the right to develop to his or her potential. Celano, Bonaventure and others who wrote biographies of Saint Francis shared countless stories of Francis’ loving attention to his brothers and to those he encountered, as well as his attention to the ever present moment.
Like Francis, we are called to be attentive to each of our relationships, to each person we encounter, to the tiniest particulars of our lives. For Francis, attention meant sensitivity and connectedness, which showed him the joys and sorrows of the world.
In our hectic lives, our unquenchable thirst for progress, possessions, money, and status, we forget the power of “attention” to the ever present now. But without attention, we live only on the surface of existence. Attention allows us to listen, to see, to touch the heart of another and to be touched. Attention connects us inwardly with the changing rhythms of our thoughts, feelings, and yearnings. Without it, we live only on the surface of existence. So live like St. Francis — give your attention to listening inwardly, without judgment or resistance, to the present moment.”
Pax Tecum,
Mrs Andrea Jaffray Morf
Deputy PrincipalTips for Going Places With Sensory-Challenged Kids
Sensory processing issues can cause a lot of confusing behaviour. A child who is overly sensitive to stimulation can find an ordinary supermarket unbearable because of noise, bright lighting or crowds. Or they might seek out sensory stimulation, touching everything and even crashing into people. These behaviours can be baffling, but they happen because the child is having trouble processing either too much or too little information from their senses.
Going places can be very challenging that’s why planning and preparation are key with sensory-challenged children.
Give lots of warning – Unexpected transitions and changes in routine threaten their sense of security and can trigger meltdowns as unreliable information from their senses can make them feel uncomfortable and out of control. Predictability allows them to feel more secure. To make outings easier, start by creating a clear, reliable schedule so everyone knows what to expect and when.
Make space for sensory time-outs – When you’re preparing for an outing, include in your schedule a plan for a designated safe space. Suggesting a walk where they can still be seen by a grown-up or taking a 10 minute break in the car.
Make a go-bag – Preparing a backpack together with pre-established things that are calming and helpful will give your child more control over their sensory experience and help them feel more at ease. Such items to include may be favourite toy, fidget toys, pencils/paper, water and snacks.
Have an exit strategy – Sometimes things just become too overwhelming no matter how many strategies you have in place. When that happens it’s time to GO! and before they are on the brink of the meltdown. If you can see that your child is reaching his breaking point, don’t wait to leave. Pushing them past their breaking point might lead to meltdowns and make them feel more anxious about the next outing. Set up a signal like a simple wave they can use to let you know they have had enough. This gives them some control over things, which will help to relax a little. Include this exit strategy in your schedule.
The goal is to help them to recognise their sensory limits and learn to gradually expand them.
Ms Donna Porteus
Chaplain
Congratulations to last week's cake raffle winner Nina Franks!
Our next parents and friends meeting is tonight at 7.30pm, all welcome.
We still have recipe books for sale at the office for $15 if you have not yet purchased one. They are also available to purchase on the Qkr! App.
Thank you to all the families who were able to come along and support the disco, and the many helpers on the night with the food and drinks. The students all had a wonderful night.
Congratulations to the following students who recieved an Aiming High award at assembly last week:
Kinder - Phebe & Noah
Prep - Evelyn & Nash
Grade 1 - Harlenn & Koa
Grade 2 - Georgina & Hamish
Grade 3 - Tyler & Ellie
Grade 4 - Shayla & Eliza
Grade 5 - Samuel, Macey & Isaac
Grade 6 - Tayarna & Ruby
The Tasmanian autistic community have highlighted a need for social and peer support opportunities on the North West coast. In response to this Autism Tasmania are proud to confirm that we have been listening and we have worked hard to help provide these opportunities for the local autistic community and those that support them.
We are very excited to make everyone aware, starting Monday 14th June 2021 a new peer support group for parents and carers is launching in Latrobe. Please see below details and attached flyer:
The A.R.T Project (Autism Related Talk)
A chance for parents and carers of those on the spectrum to find mutual support. Come along and share resources and ideas about the challenges and successes that caring for a person on the autism spectrum may bring.
WHEN: Every Monday from 11am to 12 noon
WHERE: The Crowded lounge – 129 Gilbert Street Latrobe
QUESTIONS: 6722 5000
Speech Pathology Tasmania invites parents, grand-parents, and carers to join facilitator Rosie Martin for the Circle Of Security Program via telepresence.
The program is delivered in a small group setting, each week for 8 weeks, via zoom.
We have 2 upcoming groups on offer, both at times when children might be sleeping:
- Tuesday evenings 8pm-9:30pm | July 27 – Sept 14
- Friday mornings 5:45am-7:15am | July 30 – Sept 17
Circle Of Security is a parent-child attachment program which supports the relational base of language and social skills. Research shows that secure children exhibit:
- Increased empathy
- Greater self esteem
- Better relationships with parents & peers
- Increased capacity to handle emotions more effectively
- Enhanced school readiness
This warm, non-judgmental approach to exploring attachment is practical, kind, scientific, appropriately challenging, and wonderfully gentle.
More details can be found on our website www.spt.com.au or by phone 6234 5717.
A reminder for families of the Term dates for 2021:
Term 2 - concludes on Friday 2nd July
Term 3 - Monday 19th July - Thursday 23rd September (Friday, 24th September is a student free day)
Term 4 - Monday 11th October - Thursday 16th December.
We wish everyone a safe and restful break over the upcoming school holidays.